| Click on Name to View Card Image |
| Name | Truth or Saying |
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Teenagers
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Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
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Wrinkles
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There is always a lot to be thankful for,
if you take the time to look.
For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is
that wrinkles don't hurt...
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Smile
|
One reason to smile
is that every seven minutes of every day,
someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
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Car Sickness
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Car sickness is the feeling you get
when the monthly payment is due.
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Keep them home
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The best way to keep kids at home
is to make a pleasant atmosphere
and let the air out of their tires...
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Fudge
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Families are like fudge
. . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
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Mighty Oak
|
Today's mighty oak
is just yesterday's nut
that held its ground.
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Laughing helps
|
Laughing helps.
It's like jogging on the inside.
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Middle Age
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Middle age is when
you choose your cereal for the fiber,
not the toy.
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Mind wanders
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My mind not only wanders;
sometimes it leaves completely.
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Remain Calm
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If you can remain calm,
you just don't have all the facts.
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Growing Old
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Growing old is mandatory;
growing up is optional.
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Insanity
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Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
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Health Food
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Forget the health food.
I need all the preservatives I can get.
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Growing Old
|
You know you're getting old
when you stoop to tie your shoes
and wonder what else you can do
while you're down there.
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Growing Old
|
You're getting old
when you get the same sensation
from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
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Babies
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Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies:
They would put them down somewhere
and forget where they left them.
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Candy
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One of life's mysteries
is how a two pound box of candy
can make a person gain five pounds.
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Exercise
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Every time I think about exercise,
I lie down till the thought goes away.
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